In My Life
by pinkmistgrl1299
Summary: Meet Alexis, an 11 year old girl who has cancer. She's just like any other patient at Seattle Grace, but try telling that to the staff.
1. Your Guardian Angel

Authors Note: Ok I wrote this and I have no idea if I should continue so that is really going to depend on reviews. Please review good or bad I am always looking to become a better author.

Disclaimer: as sad as it is for me to admit I have absolutely nothing to do with Shonda Rhimes or Patrick Dempsey

It was 5 am and Derek sat next to Alexis an 11 year old girl who had been diagnosed with cancer. She was mature for her age and had quickly become friends with a great deal of the staff, especially Meredith. Alexis liked hearing stories of Meredith's life and how twisted it could be sometimes. Hearing other people's problems made it easier for her to feel more normal. She encouraged Meredith and Derek's relationship and was very blunt. She would often say things to Derek such as "Why did you choose her?" but Derek would just walk away. He felt he didn't have to explain himself to an 11 year old, but he soon learned she was much more then just a regular 11 year old girl.

Derek just sat there watching her. She had gotten worse over the last week. No one could bear to think of what it would be like if she died. Her parents could hardly look at her without crying which had caused Alexis to hate when they came to visit once a week. She wished they could be stronger for her sake but they weren't.

"You're awake!" said Derek

"How long have you been here" Alexis stated in her usual sarcastic tone. She had a way of making everything sarcastic.

"Only an hour"

"Jeez, only an hour, what the heck did you do sitting there for an hour?"

"I was just thinking."

"Be a little vaguer, what were you thinking about?"

Derek laughed "Do you have any respect for people's boundaries?"

"Nope not at all." replied Alexis, managing to keep a completely serious face on.

"Were you thinking about Meredith, you were, weren't you?" Alexis was now suddenly all excited and captivated by the conversation.

"None of your business!" replied Derek smiling

"No really why did you choose her? Please don't walk away this time." Alexis said with a somewhat pleading tone in her voice

"She's my wife" Derek said those words for the second time and walked away. Leaving Alexis alone to consider what he had just said.

5 minutes later Meredith walked in. Alexis wanted to be a doctor, if she lived, and always begged Meredith to keep her informed on all the cool surgeries. Meredith had come to not even need to wait for Alexis to ask about the surgeries, it had become how they would start there conversations.


	2. World On Fire

Author's note – ok I am so sorry I never updated this but I was in the hospital in and out for three months and I never felt well enough to get on here and write. But here it is an update! I am not sure if I even really want to continue I think I am much more of a reader then a writer but I am not going to end it right now until I am sure I want to end so yes it is short but it is still an update! Also I put the song World on fire by Sarah McLachlan in here

Disclaimer – nope still don't own Grey's anatomy

Another week had gone by and Alexis showed no signs of improving. Actually she was continuing to get worse. Hope was beginning to become slim and though this was a hospital and all the doctors new that was true they refused to believe it.

Izzie had made it her Saturday ritual to bake chocolate cupcakes for all the doctors and Alexis to have when they all went to her room Sunday morning. Alexis's parents came to visit on Mondays so none of the doctors went in to her room on that day. Leaving the doctors all of Monday to talk usually not about Alexis but this Monday she was all they had on their minds.

They all sat quietly in the cafeteria picking at their food. They all wanted to say something but were all afraid. Finally George decided he had to break the silence.

_Hearts are worn in these dark ages  
You're not alone in this story's pages  
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying  
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in_

"She won't die, she can't"

He didn't really even believe this himself. He heard patient's families and friends say things like that. He would always think just because you say it, it doesn't make it true, but this time saying it made it seem like it was a possibility.

There was an awkward silence after what George had said.

_The world's on fire and  
It's more than I can handle  
I'll tap into the water  
(I try to pull my ship)  
I try to bring more  
More than I can handle  
(Bring it to the table)  
Bring what I am able_

"What will we do if she does die?" Alex said.

Leave it to Alex to bring up the fact that she very well may die. Even Alex had grown to like Alexis. She was very hard not to like. She was truthful and that was the main thing she had in common with Alex. He could talk to her and she would tell him her exact thoughts, and she was the only one who would.

No one replied to Alex. No one was willing to face the extreme probability that she would die. They didn't need to think of things like that, they had other patients who needed to be tended to and they didn't need distractions from their work.

Meredith was taking care of a patient who had been in a vegetative state for 4 years and had been hit by a light that fell from the ceiling in the nursing home. "How does a light just randomly fall from the ceiling?" she thought. Sometimes life just didn't seem fair.

They all went home and when they went into Alexis's room the next day they found that she was crying. She was extremely tough and almost never cried with all the things going on no one understood how she did it. Izzie and Meredith immediately ran to her side asking what was wrong. Alex, Christina, and George just stood in the doorway waiting for an answer.

_I watch the heavens and I find a calling  
Something I can do to change this moment  
Stay close to me while the sky is falling   
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone_

This was the first time she had ever seemed like an 11 year old to them. She was always so tough and so strong surely no way an 11 year old who had spent so much time in the hospital would act.

After being asked what was wrong several more times, Alexis finally looked at Meredith and said

"My parents said they don't want to visit me anymore. They think it would be better for me if they just let you guys take care of me."

_Hearts break, hearts mend  
Love still hurts  
Visions clash, planes crash  
Still there's talk of  
Saving souls, still the cold  
Is closing in on us_

Meredith was shocked. She didn't understand how they could do that. If she had a child she would be there day in and day out. She looked over at Izzie and was almost sure she was thinking the same thing.

Meredith walked out of the room ready to punch something how could they just leave her like that! She realized she was beginning to cry and ran into an on-call room. Unfortunately for her Derek followed her. She sat down on the bed, tears running down her face.

"It's ok, she will be ok" Derek soothed her.

He had talked to Alexis this morning and knew how Meredith was feeling right now it was just so cruel.

Meredith looked up at him and before he could stop himself he leaned in and kissed her. She pulled away.

"We can't you're married!" she replied looking both scared and angry.

"No, I'm not anymore." Was all he said.

_We part the veil on our killer sun  
Stray from the straight line on this short run  
The more we take, the less we become  
A fortune of one that means less for some_


End file.
